Remember when..?
I can’t remember much
But what I remember is great
The way you said hello
Hand in hand-gently
Saying “now you be a good girl”
I’ll never forget
It always made me laugh
The way you would play me in checkers
You would always win
By a lot
The way you always took me with you
When you went fishing
You could fish for hours on end
And never get bored
Even if you only catch one fish
Those memories are faint
And the one’s I do remember?
There just as good
Even if you can’t go fishing anymore
You watch it on EPSN
I’ll watch it with you
When you’ve gotten to the age
Where you could be rude to people
Especially waiters and still get away with it
“Where the hell is my food? What did you do, go get married”
I will always remember that day
The waiter was speechless
While our whole table was laughing hysterically
I remember the last game of checkers we played
I won.
But only because you kept moving my pieces
And kept forgetting what color you were.
But I will always remember how you said hello
It never changed
Hand in hand-gently
“Now you be a good girl”
So I just wanted to say
Hi grandpa
I miss you
1. How can i make it have more emotion in it?
2. what else could i add?
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dont change any thing.
ReplyDeletethat was freaking AMZING!!!
leave it, the end really catches you
so id say keep that also
i like the flow of this poem and i like how it progresses the age of your grandfather.
ReplyDeleteIts alot of telling and not much showing and when you deal with memories that are kind of distant a lot of the time you just get a sense of feeling because you cant really remember. So it would be neat to heighten the senses in these experiences with your grandfather and pull out some specific things that you remember and focus on them.
That was really good! i almost wrote one about my great grandpa! ha I think that you could maybe add some more emotion, but i dont know! i really thought it was awesome :)
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